


Confessions of an Angel

by RosesOnTheMoon



Category: Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inner Dialogue, M/M, No Dialogue, POV First Person, POV Nagisa Kaworu, Rebuild of Evangelion Sequel/Time Loop Theory, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25380754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosesOnTheMoon/pseuds/RosesOnTheMoon
Summary: Three different versions of Kaworu reflect, during their final moments.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	1. I'm Saying That I Love You

I'm about to die.

I can feel your hesitance, your reluctance to destroy me.

But, it's okay.

Life and death hold equal value to me.

I've fulfilled my purpose in the plan, and you've done the same.

SEELE intended this.

We're part of the plan, you and I.

Talking to you was a part of the plan.

I didn't intend to fall in love with you.

Fate guided me to do so,

Because I was truly born to meet you.

And fate has led us here.

You're a fragile person, just as I said.

And thus, deep down, my heart fills with dread at how you'll feel after this.

My humanoid body is soft and delicate, one gentle squeeze is all that is needed to terminate me.

To take my life and hand upon me death.

Even though I don't want this, what does it matter?

I can't stop this.

So, clench your fist and rid of me.

Somehow, I know we'll meet again.

And I hope that destiny will allow us to love again.


	2. Show Me Your True Heart

It seems that you don't hate me.

...

I'm surprised.

You've gripped onto me, now.

I wonder what you're thinking about.

The cat?

Maybe so.

You'll never forget about this, will you?

Just as you'll never forget the other ones that you lost.

I could go against destiny,

but they'd have me killed at once.

It'd be a waste of time for everyone.

I might as well die here.

Let you end me.

I don't care.

It doesn't matter.

This is my final wish.

For you to kill me.


	3. Don't Look at Me Like That

I've lost count of how many times I've told you my name.

I've lost count of how many times I've told you that I love you.

But I'll never forget every single different expression I see when my life is nearing its end.

There are tears running down your face.

A common occurrence.

You look afraid and even heartbroken;

Confusion in your eyes.

I'd do anything to see a brightness in those eyes.

Anything to give you the happiness that you'd longed for all those times.

I failed you again.

But even so, I know that this is how it must go.

I hate this.

I hate this...!

They'll keep manipulating me like their little doll and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

It hurts.

Fate tortures me.

I keep hurting you.

I hate seeing you cry.

I want to watch the stars with you.

I want to play the piano with you.

I want to be with you.

It's so difficult.

But there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can try again. 

I can and _will_ try again.

I'll make a million mistakes.

I will do this a million times over until I get it right.

No matter how much it hurts,

I promise you that I'll always see you off with a smile.


End file.
